Cornwall, Body Magic & Willpower! #12
Its been a busy few weeks, I went to Cornwall over Easter, my absolute favourite place in the world, I'll keep on saying it but it just is. I love it. Usually when I visit Cornwall I head straight for my Auntie's home cooking and all of the scones and clotted cream, this time I really knew I couldn't afford to be gaining any weight for that weeks weigh in so I asked my fam to help me out and keep me away from the syns. I came home and i'd lost 2 pounds, I couldn't believe it! I'm so chuffed with myself I cannot tell you.
When I got home I was so determined to stick to the diet and carry on with a bit of exercise. Something i'm not at all used to, I'm literally the worlds most unfit person. I started swimming again. I love swimming. Literally love it, It calms me, gives me space to think, I don't have to talk to anyone, I don't sweat because i'm in the water, it's just the best. I took up swimming a few years back on another attempt to loose some weight, but I didn't really take it too seriously and I quickly lost interest. On Thursday I went before work, if you know me, you'll know how much I need and love sleep so I have no idea what made me decide to go at 7 bloody AM. But I did, and I felt fucking fabulous. I had a proper cheat day yesterday with my friend for her 25th Birthday, we went down to Camden Market and ate deep fried halloumi and churros. I regret nothing, it was amazing, I went swimming again this morning just to make up for it a bit. I went for a little bit longer this morning and I'm definitely paying for it now. I'm sat at my desk nodding off as I write this. Was definitely worth it though. I'll check in next time with how well I've kept it up!
On Thursday it'll be 100 days until I'm off on my holiday, I've still got A LOT of work to do, but honestly I feel really confident that I'm going to do it. I want nothing more than to feel great on that holiday, and I'm going to make sure I do.
Willpower is such a funny thing isn't it. It seems to me like its almost a DNA trait. Like you either have it or you don't. I'm so interested in where people get their willpower from, what drives them, what makes this time different than all the other times. Willpower is literally just saying no to the biscuit tin or forcing yourself to get up at 7am for a workout. So why is it so difficult to muster up for some of us? I'd be interested to hear your thoughts. I really do believe that food issues can stem from all types of deep rooted other issues in your life. I started to gain weight when I was about 8/9, maybe a bit later but definitely notice difference in pictures around the time my dad died. I don't remember ever feeling like I was eating more than usual or actively deciding I was upset so eating more. Is it all linked? Who knows, I suppose thats some shit for a therapist one day l.o.l.
Love,
Ayme x
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